With A Little Help From My Friends
by Offending Shadow
Summary: Post-Hogwarts, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny thought they were safe. Little did they know that in the adult world, things could only get wierder, as they struggle to keep their jobs, avoid killer land-ladies demanding rent, and promote S.P.E.W.
1. A New Page

**_Letter:_**

Dear Ginny,

I have to say, as wonderful a flat-mate as you were for three years, I do get a bit of a thrill from having a place of my own. Not that I actually _own_ it, technically; I still do have the joy of paying the monthly rent. Yes, Mrs. Appleby may smell a bit like cabbage, but she's really quite a good land-lady, and not nearly as bad as Ron claimed. Sometimes he is awfully melodramatic. Still, he's in a situation much more suited to him now, isn't he? Free room and board, as well as all the food he could ever want. Not that he cares that most of it is the product of _slave labor_. I do wonder how he'll manage back at Hogwarts now that he has no one's work to copy off of. I pity his students. Still, no doubt your mum will keep you posted. Thank her again for the food she sent my first day here, will you? It was terribly thoughtful.

Speaking of Ron, how's Harry? Broken his personal best in 'dark wizards captured per week,' yet? How did the first date go? Where did he take you? You have to tell me absolutely everything! Really, I've waited long enough to hear, as he certainly took his sweet time in asking you out. It's probably another good reason for me to have left. You need the freedom to go out together without worrying about whether or not it's your turn to cook tea. Not that I'm improving; Ron keeps insisting that my cooking difficulties only bother me so much because it's a reminder that I'm not perfect. That's ridiculous ridiculous, honestly. It's just that a person has to eat something besides take-away every now and again. If he makes one more joke about me getting a house-elf, I'll... Well, I'll think of some sort of drastic action.

Oh, that reminds me! Work starts on Monday, and I fully intend to use my new position to promote S.P.E.W. Not at first, of course- I want to avoid alienating my colleagues- but it is _high_ time someone on the inside brought this injustice to the ministry's attention. I've been doing some research, though, and it looks as though my work will be fascinating. As Ron put it, I have finally gotten my nose out of a book, and I can now begin making a difference. How's the Auror training going? When are your tests coming up? Did you get the book I sent? It's supposed to be really useful, compiled like a mass-memoir of other former trainees. While you're at it, ask Ron if he got Hogwarts: A History I sent. Not that he'll actually read it. I sent Harry Lockhart's latest. Please reassure him that I wasn't trying to make a comment on his penmanship; I just thought he might find it entertaining. If you haven't yet gotten a look yet, ask if you can see it. I'll be interested to see how well it sells!

I'm more or less settled in now, so you'll have to come and see it. It looks considerably different to when Ron had it, believe me. We can eat out (No doubt it's a relief to be free of my meals by now). I'm right by a brilliant shopping district.

Hope to see you soon,

Hermione

**_Poster:_**

**MARVELOUS MANUSCRIPT**

The latest book from the world-wide acclaimed wizard Gilderoy Lockhart, best selling author of _Walking With Werewolves_ and five times winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award! He has recently recovered from a traumatizing memory loss and had just released this excellent instruction manual easing the way to perfect joined-up writing! Just for this week, only 12 sickles and 8 knuts!

[Large smiling photo of Lockhart]

****

**_Letters:_**

Ron-

What do you mean, she's holding your things for ransom? Is that usual ex-land lady behavior in the wizarding world? Is she simply heart-broken that you've left, and pining for her darling Ronnie? And are you _quite _certain you're not exaggerating again? Hermione said she's not nearly as bad as you said she was. How are you liking Hogwarts so far? Is it strange to be back? Gotten a detention yet? By the way, you may not want to feed Pig quite so much, he getting to look a bit like Dudley. Bad memories.

-Harry

P.S. You know your sister's a fantastic kisser?

Harry-

No, I have to say, I did not know that. And may I add that I would have been quite happy NEVER FINDING OUT?! Seriously, how do you _know_ she's a fantastic kisser, anyway? I suggest you don't answer that. If you give the wrong answer, the ancient code of brotherdom will force six Weasleys to descend upon you violently, then castrate you with a rusty nail. I mean it, mate. There probably is no right answer. Okay, maybe only _five_ Weasleys. Percy might not join in. The point is, just because I said you can go out with her doesn't mean you're allowed to move so BLOODY FAST! And just to remind you, you break her heart and you're toast. So no more kissing info, alright?

meant it about the demented land lady. The old bat's holding all of my things for ransom! She's got it all locked up, and she won't give it to me until I pay this massive fee! It all came out of nowhere! Trust Hermione not to back me up. What're friends for? Talk to Ginny about Pig, she's the one that keeps giving the little maniac treats. Still reckons he's cute, I s'pose.

-Ron

****

**_Tenants Notice Board:_**

If a Mr. R. Weasley (pictured below) should return to collect his property, please inform him that under section VIII A of the lease that said items will not be returned to him until he pays the three and a half months of rent he now owes this establishment. Thank you for your assistance, and have a pleasant day.

Your Landlady,

Mrs. Appleby

****

**_Letters:_**

Dear Hermione,

You do realize you mentioned my brother's name _six times_ in that letter? Not that I counted or anything. I'm glad to hear you're taking the whole S.P.E.W. thing slowly. You do tend to get a bit over-enthusiastic sometimes, and people often get a bit frightened. Not that I don't think it's a wonderful idea or anything, so there's no need to bite my head off! I got the book, thanks a million. It contained all kinds of great advice, such as loopholes in the dress code. Apparently there is nothing that dictates what sort of socks we must wear. To think I never noticed before; I've been missing out on ages of odd-sock-wearing opportunities! Harry got his too, and did find it funny. If you want to know about Ron, ask him yourself.

But to the important bit:

The date was fabulous, like something out of a fairy tale; only without getting kidnapped or riding horses or any of that rubbish. We went to a beautiful restaurant (all a thoroughly posh affair), and the food was perfect. We just chatted for quite a while about anything and everything (It's wonderful, we never run out of things to talk about), and when we finished, we went for a walk around London. It was totally and without a doubt the most romantic thing that has ever happened to me.

And then, right before I went inside after he dropped me off at home, do you know what he did?

He _kissed _me! Harry James Potter actually kissed me! It was the most amazing thing ever! Like heaven, only better! I just looked straight into those gorgeous emerald eyes for a minute, just standing there out in the cold, and he leaned down and just _kissed me!!_ And he turned a little red (I probably did too), but I smiled at him, and he smiled back, and then he had to leave, but _oh_, it was just the most incredible feeling. Like we were the only people in the entire world and it was all I could do to keep from dancing or singing or screaming to the world what had happened. So I'm telling you instead, so as not to torture the neighbors. Still, I can't stop beaming like a rabid baboon.

I have no idea how long I just stood outside in shock.

I'll write again soon when I'm a bit saner, or have at least stopped floating about a foot off the ground. I'd love to meet up, once I calm down again like I said.

Your Fantastically Happy Friend,

Ginny Weasley

P.S. Has my dolt of a brother asked you out yet?

Dear Ron,

I would like to point out that I am a responsible nineteen year old woman who is capable of managing her own love life, so just keep your overly-long nose out of my business. If you so much as consider going nuts like you did with the last guy and threaten to castrate Harry with a rusty nail, I will personally inform Hermione that you kept talking about her in your sleep when we were all home last Christmas. Speaking of Hermione, hurry up and ask her out. She won't shut up about you.

Lots of Love,

Ginny

Dear Ginny,

I would never dream of threatening Harry, and I'm deeply hurt that you would even suggest something like that. And I'm telling you, I wasn't talking about Hermione, you misunderstood. I was having a dream about hair, pies, and knees. So you have no blackmail on me, HA HA HA. And look who's talking, Miss Keep-Your-Nose-Out-Of-My-Business, I would never ask Mione out. We're just friends.

Love,

Ron

P.S. What does she say about me?! Not that I care, or anything...

Dear Ronald,

Wouldn't you like to know. HA HA HA yourself.

-Ginny

Dear Ginevra,

I hate you.

-Ron


	2. Enter Mad Irish Girl, Old Enemy, & Spam

**_Junk Mail:_**

Dear Resident,

How would you like to win a fabulous night out, accompanied by none other than the Boy Who Lived himself, Harry Potter? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and you can enter this exciting drawing simply by ordering a liter Wiz-Clean, today! It's fast, effective, and doesn't even leave smear marks! Your house will be refreshing in no time. Simply send 6 sickles and 8 Knuts to the return address on this envelope within the next week, and you'll both have a clean house and a chance to win this amazing prize!

Sincerely,

Wiz-Clean Co.

**_Response to Junk Mail:_**

Dear Wiz-Clean Co.

Since I really doubt that Harry Potter intends to go out to dinner with some randomer just so that you can sell more of a product which he knows from personal experience does not work and can cause nasty allergic reactions to a friend of mine that made his hands have green splotches for weeks, I don't think anyone will be winning that competition. In fact, you're lucky I can't be bothered to fill out all the forms involved in reporting you to the ministry for false advertising. Therefore, I request that you please remove me from your mailing list.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter

****

**_Letter:_**

Dear Ginny,

I am going to ignore your comment about your brother's name, as it was silly, irrelevant, and most likely an exaggeration. But moving right along, I don't frighten people with S.P.E.W. Besides, people always fear progress, but it must press onwards or we would never have discovered the wheel, for goodness' sake!

Ginny, are you really going to wear odd socks? Dobby will be thrilled, that's for sure. I'm sure Harry would be quite happy to lend you some Dobby originals, for that matter.

The date does sound wonderfully romantic. Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to start swooning and wishing I could receive anonymous bouquets or something equally silly, but I know you love that sort of thing, and I'm really happy for you. If I could pick anyone at all for you, it would be Harry (And vice versa, of course). You've come along way from a mad crush in your first year. I must say, I'm surprised he was so forward; ordinarily he's really nervous about that sort of thing. Really though, you're welcome to rant to me as much as you'd like. What're friends for, if not to listen to you ramble? Well, I suppose several other things, but you understand what I'm saying.

I have some news too, actually. Not nearly as exciting as yours, of course, but still quite noteworthy. Remember what I said about being so happy that I finally had my own apartment? Well, apparently, I spoke to soon. There seems to have been some sort of mix-up, and now I no longer have a study. Instead I have a flat mate.

I know, I'm really quite disappointed. I was looking forward to having my own space. And as though that's not enough, she is one of the most singular people I have met since I lost contact with Luna Lovegood. Her name is Bailey O'Callaghan, and she is Irish. Not just Irish, but _blatantly_ Irish. She has reddish-brown hair, blue eyes, light skin, and an accent to rival Seamus Finnigan's. She also wears primarily green, is apparently a huge fan of your entrepreneuring twin brothers, and speaks _excedingly_ quickly. I'm getting a little better at understanding her though, fortunately. She also seems to have decided that Hermione is too long, and I am now _Hermy_. Why does this bring back bad memories of someone's rather _large_ little brother? At any rate, within the first half an hour of meeting her, I now know her life story. She's come over here to work in the department of Sports and Games, and as she added, "For the Quidditch, of course, darlin'!" She ought to get together with your brother. As in, the youngest one whose name I am apparently no longer allowed to mention. As much as I hate to look down on her so quickly, it must be said, she does seem a little eccentric. The first thing she did upon arriving was look through everything in the cupboard, utter several cries of dismay, insist I was living on rabbit and tinned foods, and then whip out a notebook and scribble furiously. I can only assume that she was making a shopping list. She continued this for a good ten minutes before she got distracted by the television (Mrs. Appleby was muggle-born, so these apartments all have electricity, thank goodness. No wonder Ron found his so confusing…). She watched the commercials for a while, and then lost interest as soon as the program came back on. I'm really not quite sure what to make of her. At any rate, wish me luck, I may just need it.

Hope to see you soon, and once again, I'm glad that you and Harry had fun.

Love,

Hermione Granger

****

**_Bailey's Notebook:_**

Things to do:

Re-decorate apartment- Think green and orange _streamers_!!!

Convert Hermy into a Quidditch fan

Operation Flat-Mate Bonding Project

Replenish dung bomb and canary creams supplies

Find out phone number of the gorgeous guy whose picture is on the wanted poster downstairs put on the tenant's notice board!

GO SHOPPING AND BUY THE FOLLOWING!!

Cabbage

Pasta

Cereal

Brownie mix

Icing

Ice trays

Soda pop

Beer

Streamers

Scotch tape

Latest issue of Quidditch Weekly

Eggs

Butter

Steel saucepan

Toothbrush

Sparkly toothpaste

Real tea

A spatula that hasn't been melted by Hermy

Rabbit and/or a dragon. Peruvian Vipertooths are cutest!

****

**_Letters:_**

Ron-

Got it. As, surprisingly enough, I have no desire to be castrated, I will avoid that particular topic of conversation.

What are you going to do about getting your stuff back? Maybe if you go at night you can steal them back while the land lady from hell is sleeping. After all, Hermione can be your inside source.

Work is a nightmare right now. Some idiot has declared himself to be the re-incarnation of Voldemort. It's not as though it's the first time this has happened, but usually they're completely mad or are just attention stunts. This guy's taking it pretty seriously, and he's done some muggle-torturing. Remember the explosion in the Prophet last week? That was no accident. We're tracking him at the moment. Wish me luck.

-Harry

Harry-

Sorry mate, life sucks sometimes, doesn't it? Finally get rid of You-Know-Who and a dozen more are just clamoring to take his place. Gits. You need any help, let me know.

I'll drop Hermione a note and see if she'll help me, but let's face it, going against authority has rarely been her style. Still, I'm sure she owes me for something; I'll just have to think on it.

I've got to say, it's a little bizarre being back at Hogwarts without you lot. I keep jumping around nervously whenever I'm in the staff room, thinking someone will walk in at any moment and tell me that I'm not supposed to be there, deduct house points, and then send me back to my common room. Fortunately I've stayed out of detention (Very funny), although Filch glowers at me whenever I pass. Can you believe he still works here? Not only that, but Mrs. Norris II seems to have the same opinion of me as her predecessor. I swear the thing is stalking me. Filch probably put her up to it. I ate dinner at the staff table last night, and it was downright creepy. Dumbledore was still there. I know it sounds awful, but I'm still a bit amazed he's alive. I mean, by now, he's got about four hundred, right? McGonagall is still here, but you can tell she's starting to feel all the injuries she got during the second war. Rumor has it that she'll retire next year. Flitwick is still here too. He seems to have gotten shorter. Possibly that has something to do with the fact that I think that after my final teenage growth spurt, I never really stopped getting taller.

I have to say, although I never liked Snape, I wish he'd been sitting at that table. I know every war has its casualties and all, but I never dreamed that anything could stop him from his Gryffindor-torturing ways; not even a killing curse. Still, you won't believe who his latest substitute is. Well, you might. All I can say is that Gryffindors are doomed to suffer in class for eternity. That's right; the new Hogwarts potions master is none other than Draco Malfoy.

I will now give you some space to get over that information...

…

…

…

...Are you over it yet? I swear I nearly resigned on the spot. I couldn't decide if I'd rather get the hell out of there, or punch his lights out. There he was, leaning back in his chair, talking to Professor Vector, as though he was a real, honest human being and not the lowest life form on the planet. I still can't believe that they didn't arrest him. Yeah, maybe it was daddy dearest that was a death eater, but I don't kid myself that he wouldn't have sworn himself in at the earliest opportunity. Seriously, there had to be something they could use to get him in Azkaban! _Anything_! He just glanced up at me, then started smirking, and send in his incredibly annoying drawl, "Why hello, Weasley, fancy meeting you here." McGonagall sent me what was unmistakably a warning look that made me feel eleven years old again, so I just nodded and replied, "Hello Malfoy, are you visiting the school?"

And that's when Flitwick explained that he was now the potions teacher and head of Slytherin house. And obviously I can't punch him smarmy mug or I'll get sacked, so he'd better not try anything. I sat at the opposite end of the table next to Hagrid and made sure to avoid all eye contact with Malfoy. I just hope that being a total slimy prat isn't contagious. Hagrid's doing really well, by the way, especially considering that for a while there we were sure he was a goner. He's as cheerful as ever, and still has the same old obsession with dangerous creatures. I feel for his students.

You wouldn't believe what nice rooms the teachers have. They've got beds and fireplaces just like ours were, as well as fancy drapes, rugs, a bookshelf, a desk, file cabinets, an alcove for a trunk, the whole nine yards. You'll have to come and see it. To think all this time our teachers were living so luxuriously!

I should probably go. It's late, I'm running out of candle wax, and Hermione's voice keeps nagging at me in my mind to start planning my lessons. I think she may have hexed me; I can't get it out of my head.

Talk to you later,

Ron

Dear Ickle Ronnikins,

Like our new stationary? Very official, right? You'd better read quickly, though; it should erupt into fireworks at any moment. It's still in the preliminary stages. Keep Halloween free, all right? We may just have to plan something to celebrate the success of our new American branch! Make sure Harry, Hermione, the family, and whoever else you happen to like ensures they're available, too. If everything goes as planned, this'll be the event of the century.

Have fun torturing a new generation of students. By the way, thanks for the potions master update, we'll be sure to act on it immediately.

Love to Ginny and her new boyfriend.

Fred and George Weasley

_Presidents of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes Inc._

****

**_Letter:_**

Dear Hermione,

Good luck changing the world one house elf at a time. I'll send you a picture of me in full uniform and the socks he knitted for Harry last Christmas. I may send a copy to Dobby as well; I think he'd like that. Maybe he'll make me my own pair! I'm sure I'll start a fad at school.

Honestly, Hermione, I still maintain that there is a hopeless romantic buried deep inside of you that you are simply refusing to release. Probably this is either because you have yet to find the right guy, or you are afraid, because you're terrified that after watching Casablanca, Love Actually, and The Princess Bride so many times (I was your flat mate, Mione, I know your deepest, darkest secrets), you're afraid that real life love simply will not live up to the passionate expectations you hold for it. You therefore bury yourself in your books.

Don't worry, that's all the analyzing you get for now; but think on it, okay?

Well, I must say, having a flat mate instead of a study may seem like you got the raw end of the deal, but at least it sounds like Bailey will be good entertainment value. Don't you dare let her convert you into a Kestrel supporter, though; I'd never forgive you. Hermy, aye? It has a certain ring to it... Have you found out what her shopping list contained yet? The suspense is killing me!

I'm going on another date with Harry tomorrow night. Why is it that time always goes more slowly whenever you're waiting for something good? I have to go check and see if the clock is working. It'll probably start ticking backwards at any minute.

Your Impatient Friend,

Ginny

****

**_Poster:_**

With a new school year just around the bend, stock up on prank supplies at **WEASLEY'S WIZARDS WHEEZES**! We now have a whole range of products, from the new Exploding Essays to the classic portable swamps. Notice: Special discounts to anyone who promises to use the supplies against Professor Malfoy, your newest Potion's master!


	3. Crossing Fingers and Hoping for the Best

**_Letter:_**

Dear Ginny,

Remember what I said about Bailey being the most singular person since Luna Lovegood? Let's just put it this way: if Bailey keeps up like this, she'll make Luna look like your brother Percy before the week is out. Do you know what I found on the tenant's board below your brother's wanted poster (see if you can convince him to pay that rent, by the way…)? No, it's too odd, you wouldn't believe me if I told you. I'll enclose one of the fliers. I'm still not entirely sure _I_ can believe it, and I have seen my share of oddities over the years. I'm going to have a long chat with Bailey about the rules we are going to have to lay down if we are to continue sharing an apartment happily. And no, I haven't found out what's on the shopping list yet, but I _am_ starting to develop a mortal fear of that notebook. It seems that every time she starts to write in it, she gets a new crazy idea.

As much as I appreciate you trying to free my inner romantic, I'm afraid you'll only be disappointed as it's not there. I still maintain that Casablanca is simply an excellent film that represents the artistic attitude of a decade in America and features highly skilled actors. It has nothing to do with the fact that Humphrey Bogart was once something of a heart throb.

But where was I… Did you enjoy your date? I'm glad you're having fun, but I hope that it's not interfering with your training. Try not to plan them on weeknights, all right? I don't mean to nag, but it's important that your social life doesn't conflict with your working life. Do give me the details on how training is going, as well. Speaking of which, I start work tomorrow, so I should probably stop for now. I can only pray that I don't return to find the flat in shambles.

Love,

Hermione

P.S. Don't call me Hermy!

P.P.S. I've had an idea to make correspondence easier, since we send a letter back in forth nearly every day now. Give me a week or so and I may be able to simplify the whole process.

**_Enclosed Flier: _**

Nothing to do on Friday nights? Interested in taking up a new, challenging, and exciting muggle sport? Starting this coming Friday from 5-8 pm in apartment 8D, join ABSEILING CLASSES! They will be hosted by qualified instructor Bailey O'Callaghan out of her window. Hurry, limited spaces available!

****

**_Letters:_**

Ron,

Thanks about the offer for help, although since we have about a dozen real Aurors who haven't wimped out on the case, I would hate to deprive Hogwarts of its weirdest Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher since Mad Eye Moody himself. However, I give you fair warning; if you start to drink only out of a personal hip flask, I will be forced to instantly put you out of your misery. Since you've been such a good friend in the past, I'll try to make it painless.

If you have the guts to ask Hermione for help is stealing back your furniture from her own landlady, you're much braver than I am; I'll take a Hungarian Horntail any day instead. Good luck, you'll need it. Oh God, is there seriously a Mrs. Norris II? I take back what I said about coming over for Christmas; you won't get me within a mile radius of that place. Does Filch still complain about not being allowed to use torture as a punishment? How long has the list of prohibited items gotten? When he hits 1,000, you should throw him a party.

Wow, Ron actually eating at the _staff_ table. Now there's a site I'd love to see. Do you still call the other teachers Professor, or are you allowed to be on first name terms? As for Snape, I never thought I'd miss him, but I do. He was a good man to have on our side. A terrible teacher, but still an asset.

You've _got_ to be _kidding me_! They let the FERRET teach at Hogwarts?! But he'll be around all the time! Are the other teachers taking bets yet on whose remains go home in a matchbox? (Don't worry Ron; I'll put my money on your survival. However, considering how often that slimy git will have access to your drinks, I'm beginning to think the whole hip flask thing may not be such a bad idea after all). Look, I know you hate him, but at the risk of sounding like Hermione, just ignore him, okay? Seriously, he's not worth losing this job over, and if he provokes you into a fight that's almost guaranteed to happen. Even Dumbledore won't hold on to you if you're attacking your colleagues. Just avoid him as much as possible, and don't let him get to you. Yeah, he may belong in Azkaban, but you can't prove that, so there's nothing we can do. All you've got to do is stay cool until everyone comes to their senses enough to send him packing. Say hi to Hagrid for me, all right? How's Fang?

I hope you're enjoying living in the lap of luxury while your best mate is slaving away to keep the wizarding world safe. I'll try to keep you updated in the maniac Voldemort re-incarnated front. Read the papers, though, because it seems nowadays they know before the Aurors do half the time.

-Harry

P.S. I'm going to talk to Hermione and Ginny, but how about this Friday we all meet up in The Three Broomsticks? It'll be close to work for you, and it's been a while since we all got together.

Dear Harry,

I'd love to meet you all on Friday. Just let me figure out someway to make sure my roommate doesn't hold abseiling lessons while I'm gone (Please don't ask).

See You Soon,

Hermione

Harry,

I don't know, there are days when I seriously consider packing my bags and heading back to the relaxing and care-free life of destroying evil. If I have to eat breakfast with Trelawney one more time, only to have her give me dire warnings about how you and I both are goners, I may lose it completely. She's still totally off her rocker. Apparently her inner eye informed her of the new additions to the staff (I'm sure Dumbledore's letters he sent out had nothing to do with it whatsoever), and she felt it was her duty to descend and greet us. Malfoy wasn't here yet, so I was stuck. I don't think she picked up on the sarcasm when I told her that as a matter of fact, I had been feeling a bit under the weather lately, maybe I was going to catch a deadly virus because of the alignment of Jupiter and Venus in the eleventh house, because she looked positively giddy with excitement. It's so nice to be valued. Suddenly death-via-Harry seems like a tempting prospect.

I think Filch hit 1,000 a while ago on the forbidden items list. He tried to appeal to Dumbledore to search my things, but thank goodness Dumbledore decided that my privacy was to be respected. In the meantime, I should probably get rid of the canary creams Fred and George sent me, just in case Filch decides to go ahead even without the headmaster's permission.

Actually, I'm supposed to call them all by their first names now. However, conversation usually ends up something along the lines of:

McGonagall: I'm so glad you could join us, Ronald. I trust you still remember where everything is?

Me: Err... yes; I think I'm all right, thanks Professor.

McGonagall: Nonsense, we're colleagues now, so I'm Minerva.

Me: Yes, Profess- I mean, err... M-m-minerva.

McGonagall: Sighing Well, don't say I didn't try. If you need anything, just let any of us know.

Me: Ears turning red Thanks, Professor.

I'm telling you, Harry, it's really, really weird. The only person I can talk to without stuttering like a madman is Hagrid. As for Fang, he's quite old now, but he still found the energy to give me a welcoming slobber when I arrived. I think Hagrid is thinking about getting a new puppy to keep him company. I don't have the heart to suggest he gets something smaller.

I know, I know, I'll hold my temper around Malfoy. Still, I can't believe he's here. I keep darting surreptitiously around the castle, trying to avoid him at all costs. I took such a big detour to avoid his office the other day that I ended up paying a visit to good old Sir Cadogan ("Stand and fight, ye scurvy fire-headed mongrel!").

I make it a rule to never read the papers, although Fred and George send me the Quidditch articles. Actually, check out yesterday's, it's on the Cannons.

Can't wait until Friday, I'll be there.

-Ron

**_Daily Prophet Article:_**

_Fingers Crossed for the Cannons___

Once again, the Chudley Canons are living up to their motto, 'Let's just cross our fingers and hope for the best.' As their Saturday game approaches, that is exactly what the Cannons will be doing; hoping for the best! "Our new chaser, Talmere, shows real promise," says manager Steven Flurry. "We really think that he could turn this team around. We think we may even be able to close the gap so that we lose by less than ten points!"

It is with this promising outlook that they face the Wigtown Wanderers at eight O'clock Saturday evening. Twenty-one year old Robert Talmere was signed on in June, and will be actually playing for the first time this weekend. Talmere grew up in Surrey, and has been a Cannons fan his whole life. Although he was unavailable for comment due to extensive training, sources say that he is thrilled to be a part of the team.

However, not everyone is sure that Talmere is the Cannons' big chance. When asked to comment, Wanderers' seeker Timothy Ream just grunted and replied, "We'll slaughter them. It's the Cannons, and anything less would be embarrassing." The Prophet wishes the best of luck to both teams.

_Brief report by Angelina Johnson, Daily Prophet Sports Writer_.

**_Letter:_**

Dear Hermione,

What exactly _is_ abseiling? Would I like it? Obviously this week I can't make it because we're all meeting up in Hogsmeade, but...

Just kidding! As far as Bailey goes, I'd say just breathe in and out a lot and try to make sure you're never around on Friday evenings. It's her apartment too, so there's not much you can do, other than do your best to be home at very different times. Except meals. You need to eat something besides takeaway; it'll rot that brilliant mind of yours.

Only _you_ would worry about falling behind in my work when I'm going out with the boy of my dreams. Who is, coincidentally, you and Ron's best friend. So you see, all you have to do is marry Ron, and we'll all be one big happy family! (That was a joke, by the way, so you needn't hex me into next week. Not that I'd mind if you married him, it might distract him from his plans to ensure that Harry and I never so much as hold hands.) However, since you ask, I loved my date. We went out for lunch this time, much more casual, and then played some Quidditch. Next Saturday we're going to an actual match. Harry got Cannons vs. Wigtown Wanderers tickets. We have a bet going; if the Canons win, I get to pay for dinner, and vice-versa. Oh well, a girl can dream, right?

As for training, you've probably heard through the ministry grape-vine that we're getting a new commander for our physical training. Well, he's here, and he's terrifying. Seriously, I've seen You-Know-Who, and I've seen Allen "Trainee-Muncher" Rawson, and I know which one I prefer. He's no taller than me, but when he shouts he gains a good three foot every time. His face screw up and turns a little purple and he bellows in a way that makes me think, "Excuse me sir, but I think they haven't heard you in Australia, could you speak up a bit?" And the he glares at me like he _knows that's what I'm thinking. _It's really creepy. Catharine Waters and I have been working on the latest project assigned in the afternoon desk-classes. She's really nice, and knows what she's doing, and it's nice to have a friend at school. Apparently Rawson thinks we should all be able to survive in wilderness situations (Err, we're aurors, not the muggle _army_...), and he's hinted that at any day we may come into work only to have our wands collected, be put on the knight bus, and be driven to the middle of nowhere, only to be kicked off and told to find our way back. Isn't it amazing how a good leader can motivate us all to be just _thrilled_ about getting up in the morning?

Well, I'm going to get some sleep just in case tomorrow is said bus-experience day. Good luck at work tomorrow, I'm sure you'll be fine.

Ginny

**_A Note on Hermione's Fridge:_**

HERMY!! LOOK HERE! ON THE FRIDGE! IT'S A NOTE FROM YOUR FAVOURITE FLATMATE!

Hi Hermy! I'm glad you found the note! I'll have to pick up some brighter-colored paper later on, so it'll be clearer. I've just got home from my Quidditch practice. Isn't it fantastic that there's a local team? I really think you should join; the fresh air will work wonders! Speaking of wonders, I've left what remains of my omelet in the fridge. It's all yours if you want it for breakfast. You need it, honestly, you're as skinny as a thranian! Anyway, since you will no doubt be all busy getting ready for work tomorrow morning, I thought I'd drop you a line about the abseiling thing, since I'm going to sleep in. They don't need me until the afternoon on Mondays. Speaking of work, you can't go in wearing the grey suit you'd set out, it's the dullest thing I've seen in years! I've put a green jumper on the couch for you. Wear that, it was a hit in my department, and I'm sure everyone will love it. Do you own one of those big swishy skirts? I really think green is your color. Actually, green is everyone's color. I think it would be just lovely with the top. But anyway, where was I? ...Oh, right, abseiling. I understand completely that you wish to have privacy. I absolutely should have discussed it with you first. No doubt you don't want the disruption on Friday nights. I'll tell everyone that we'll meet on Thursdays instead, when you'll be at work. That way, we'll be silent as a lethifold, in and out in seconds! Of course, I'm sure the group will be just lovely, much more fun than lethifolds. What I'm trying to say, however, is that you'll never even know we were there! Have a great day tomorrow, and don't forget the omelet and the jumper!

Bailey


	4. Extreme Sports

**_Letters:_**

Dear Ginny,

Abseiling is what muggles refer to as an "Extreme sport". It involves scaling down the sides of tall walls while attached to ropes. In other words, unfortunately, you would probably love it. And yes, I will just generally just try to avoid Bailey. Don't worry about meals, though; she seems determined to fatten me up. I feel like a turkey being prepared for Christmas dinner.

Please don't tell me Ron is _still_ acting like an over-protective big brother! Maybe we should set him up with Bailey; that would keep him busy. When she saw his picture (and these were her exact words), she announced, "Mmm, isn't he simply gorgeous?"

She didn't seem to pick up on my sarcasm when I responded, "Well, if red hair, freckles, and procrastination appeals to you, I suppose so." Not that you don't look wonderful with red hair and freckles, Gin. Ron hasn't pulled the 'Accidentally bumping into the two of you' maneuver on dates, has he? Let me know when he does; I'll give him a good talking to. Unfortunately, I'm obligated to say _when_ rather than _if_.

Allen Rawson is meant to be one of the best Aurors around these days; besides Harry, of course. Still, I can imagine he is a bit intimidating. Look on the bright side; after him, former death eaters will be a breeze. Maybe he has some sort of inferiority complex as a child because of his lack of height, and now he's trying to compensate.

Anyway, on to my first day at the office. As I'm sure I've mentioned before, at the moment I'm in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, although they gave the impression they may shift me to muggle relations at any moment. Fortunately I did well enough on my NEWTS that I can handle either. First thing in the morning I found my cubicle, complete with a welcome card signed by everyone, which I must say was terribly thoughtful of them all. Anyway, I immediately headed up to check in with my new boss, and as I was walking down the hall, I finally placed his name. I knew I had heard of it somewhere, and all of a sudden it just clicked. J. _Talmere_. That's right, as in Robert Talmere, the new chaser for the Cannons.

Let me know when you've stopped hyperventilating.

I don't know why I didn't realize before. My only excuse is that I wasn't actually interviewed by this branch, just by a general ministry employment scout. I don't mean to brag, but my resume did more or less speak for itself. I got to his door and just knocked, as he didn't have a secretary or anything (Odd, I know, but I suppose he's capable of keeping his own files organized, which I thoroughly approve of). I heard a voice from within yell out casually, "Come right in," and so tentatively, I did. The first thing I noticed was the enormous Chudley Cannons pennant blazing across the top of the wall.

The second thing I noticed was the fact that Mr. Talmere, or Justin as he later insisted I call him, seemed very relaxed. He was leaning back in his chair, sorting through a pile of papers, when he glanced up, smiled, and gestured to the chair across from the desk. "You must be Hermione." No formalities, just like that.

It will certainly be an experience, working with someone so close to my own age as opposed to one of the elderly researchers I've dealt with for the past few years. I didn't ask, of course, but he can't be more than four years older than us. After some very friendly introductions, he jumped right in and asked me my opinion on the case he had been looking through involving a crup. He really gives the impression that he respects his employee's opinions, which I did appreciate. He listened, smiling, and then handed me the report. "Sounds like a good plan, I think I'll start you on a few reports, since you seem capable. Wait, I'm sorry, I don't want to throw you in at the deep end on your first day. You don't mind, do you?" Of course I didn't mind! I'm going to fit right in here, I'm sure of it. It's a wonderful environment, everyone is very productive, and Justin really encourages us all. I've heard nothing but good things about him.

See you Friday,

Hermione

Dear Fred and George,

I have an important mission for you both, as you are the Weasleys with the most connections in high society. Our brother's happiness and our mother's chance for more grandchildren could hang in the balance here, so tread carefully. I need you to find out everything you possibly can about Justin Talmere, brother of Robert Talmere, the new Cannons chaser. There has to be something terrible about him. Anything at all, just something that must prevent him from ever having a relationship with Hermione. That's right, I just got a letter from her, and she's too clueless to realize that her boss was flirting shamelessly with her. Act quickly, or you won't ever be able to set off dung bombs at Ron's wedding!

Love to both of you, and say hi to Angelina for me,

Ginny

Dear Ginny,

We'll, it's lovely to see that you chose to take time out of your busy schedule to write to your favorite twin brothers, even if you did neglect to inquire as to how we are. This is George, by the way, as Fred's probably off snogging his girlfriend, leaving the important family issues to me, as usual. She says hi to you too. Anyway, I will overlook your brusque demeanor only because this is clearly an emergency of potentially catastrophic proportions. Since Hermione and Ron are both too thick to figure it out themselves, we'll just have to give them a shove in the right direction. And shove Talmere out of the way, of course. Gives us a week or so, and we'll have everything from his political stance to how many times he used bad language in year five.

Melodramatically yours,

George Weasley

_Co-President of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes_

**_Invitation:_**

To Whom It May Concern,

You are hereby invited to the

_Weasley's Wizard Wheezes Corporate Halloween Ball_

Come in costume! If you don't, we'll be forced to transfigure you into something at the door. Bring friends, batty old relatives, and mortal enemies, and even any random drunks you may bump into on the way with you! All are welcome!

RSVP via return owl to Fred of George Weasley.

**_Letters:_**

Ron,

Trust me, killing rogue death eaters isn't the glorified peaches and creams it's cut out to be. Or have you been living your sheltered life so long you've forgotten? Ah, poor Ronniekins, having to deal with the scary old divination teacher. My heart bleeds for you, really. Glad to see you're getting on well with "Minerva". Just make sure that whatever new pet gets this time, it's actually a _dog,_ okay? As a ministry employee, I'd rather not have to cover up for any more creatures of the blast-ended skrewt variety. I just wanted to re-assure you, also, that if you're having too much fun catching up with Malfoy, you needn't come Friday night.

I'm sure Hermione won't mind; I can't always make out what Ginny's saying because she babbles and waves her arms around a lot, which usually makes me space out with a dreamy smile on my face, but Ginny made it sound like Hermione's practically living with her new boss or something. Although it's possible she's overreacting slightly.

Anyway, as for the rogue death-eater front, it turns out he's not crazy. His name is Daniel Manner, and he's eighteen. I kid you not; we have been licensed to use the unforgivables on a kid. What's the world coming to? Not only that, but as near as our sources can tell, he's not only sane, his smart; graduated top of his class at Hogwarts with grades as good as Hermione. He knows exactly what he's doing, and he's decided it's worth the risk.

Maybe I was exaggerating when I said _sane_. You know what I mean, though. Although I think there was a slight current of relief at work to learn he wasn't _really_ Voldemort (You know officially we always re-enforce that this is impossible, but we all get edgy), none of us are looking forward to bringing him in. Bet you ten galleons it gets assigned to the resident hero, Harry Potter. I'm the only one who can pull off this sort of stunt without turning the public against the ministry, with my golden-boy record.

Well, I'm behind at work (as always, since my partner copped out on me to go teach a bunch of scruffy kids), so I've got to get going. See you Friday hopefully, and keep your cool with Malfoy. Ginny says hello; apparently you're not answering her letters. Something about Hermione, as usual. Just remember, mate, if you push Ginny to far, her cursing ability came directly from Fred and George. You going to their big party? Do you think they were serious when they said they would transfigure people at the door?

Who am I kidding, of course they were.

-Harry

Dear Ginny,

Would you please stop telling Harry everything I tell you? Yes, he's my best friend, but now you've got him convinced I'm in love with Hermione. Which we both know is _absolutely ridiculous_, understood? So you really should stop implying it! Speaking of Hermione, is she seriously dating her boss? What exactly going on? Do you know anything about this guy? He could be some kind of psychopath for all we know! Have you talked to Hermione about it?!

-Ron

Dear Ron,

No, I will not stop telling Harry everything. Seeing your reaction is far too much fun. If you want to know about Hermione's love life, how about you just _ask_ her? Don't be too hostile and jealous, though; we don't want a repeat of the Krum incident.

Your Loving Sister,

Ginny

Harry,

Remind me not to try to have any sort of rational discussion with my sister. It's completely impossible. I'll see what I can do on the Hagrid pet-front. We certainly don't want another Norbert. Sorry about the little bugger who's decided to pretend he's You-Know-Who. I dunno what he thinks he's playing at, but if you need any help, keep in mind that although technically your best mate's out of action, in an emergency I'm happy to be re-instated as an Auror. What're friends for?

Time is ticking away until school starts, and I'll admit I'm getting a bit edgy. After all, what if I've got the next generation of Fred and George in my class? The only way I could ever deal with them is by telling Mum when I was younger, cursing them in my schooldays, or once I got taller than them, whacking them. I can't do any of that to a student, I'd be expelled for sure! And I'll have _Slytherins_. That's right; I'm going to be teaching lots of mini-_Malfoys_. It's bad enough have to deal with the original one! You realize that I got through my whole time at Hogwarts using Hermione's notes because I couldn't read my own handwriting. How the hell am I meant to plan a lesson? It's not like I've had any good examples when it comes to Defense teachers, either! Aside from Lupin, the whole lot were duds. Term starts in less than _three weeks_. And I'll be swamped 'til Christmas, so I s'pose I really need to have it planned all the way up to the next holidays! And what if one of them asks me a question and I don't know the answer? Worst of all, what if I have someone like _Hermione_ in my class, who's smarter than I am?! Harry, I'm screwed!

-A Panicking Ron

**_Junk Mail:_**

Dear H. POTTER,

You have been fortunate enough to be selected, via a careful screening process, for a once-in-a-life-time opportunity! Bialystock & Bloom, the producers (recently released from a brief sojourn in the New York state penitentiary) who brought the hit musical "Springtime for Hitler" to the New York stage, are now making their debut in London's West End, and are looking for enthusiastic theatre-goers to finance their upcoming musical, "The Life and Times of a Flobberworm." A sure hit, Bialystock & Bloom are willing to guarantee you 100% of their profits! That's right, 100%! This sure money-making scheme is open for a limited time only, so please reply quickly, H. POTTER! Send cheque/credit details/cash to return address listed above, and seize this glorious chance! After all, H. POTTER, there's no business like show business!

Sincerely,

Bialystock & Bloom

_Theatre Producers_

**_Letters:_**

Ron,

That was the most pathetic letter I have ever received in my life, _including_ the idiots who sent me junk mail this morning that was a blatant attempt at fraud. Seriously, Ron, are you a man or a puffskein? Just show the students who's boss right off the bat, but keep it interesting enough that they don't start pulling pranks on you. How bad can it be? If it'll make poor little Ronnie feel better, you should keep in mind that you'll be about three times the size of all of them.

As for your lesson plans, isn't it obvious? Ask HERMIONE. You know as well as I do that new job or not, she'll be thrilled. If she weren't so determined to promote S.P.E.W., she'd be the one staying at Hogwarts right now, and we both know it. Besides, when was the last time you wrote to her? Do you even know her new address?

I have to stop now; I'm too disgusted by your utter lack of Gryffindor courage.

-Harry

**_The Contents of the Official Defense against the Dark Arts Waste-Paper Basket: _**

'Mione,

Look, I was wondering, I know you're not too happy with me 'cause of the whole furniture thing, but I sort of need some help... Oh, _smart_ one Ron; just remind her why she wouldn't want to hear from you! I'm not sending this one!

Dear Hermione,

I am approaching you because it has occurred to me that you would be able to help me in my plans for my academic year. Would it be possible... This is ridiculous, I'm not sending this, now I sound like Percy! I'd better start again...

Hermione,

I'm a bit stumped as far as planning out my lessons for this year. I have been trying, honest, but it's overwhelming, and I was wondering if you might be able... Oh shove it, I give up!

**_Letters:_**

Harry,

Ask Hermione for me, will you? You do owe me after the whole pub incident.

-Ron

Ron,

If that hadn't been a major jam you helped me out of, I'd hurl you over the fence like the hopeless gnome you are. Fine, I'll do it.

-Harry

Dear Hermione,

Since Ron is a spineless little wimp who calls in favors at the slightest provocation, I'm the one making contact with you. Basically, he's petrified at the prospect of writing lesson plans, so will you help him on Friday?

Thanks on behalf of everyone's favorite red-headed chicken. I'm not entirely sure he wanted to me so blunt... But he's survived worse, I suppose. Congratulations on the new boyfriend, by the way.

Harry

Dear Hermione,

Yes, well, your boss does sound nice, but are you entirely sure about him? I mean, he seems to be dumping an awful lot of papers on you for your first day. I do trust your judgment, but be sure he doesn't take advantage of your work ethic or anything, okay? And remember; you should _never ever_ date a colleague. It can only lead to certain disaster. Do not even _consider_ going down that road. Besides, you clearly are better off just being friends with Quidditch stars like Viktor. Surely the same rule applies to Quidditch stars' brothers as well! Oh well, at least he's a Cannons fan. Keep everything strictly platonic and I'm sure you'll do _wonderfully._

Abseiling does sound quite fun. When did she say the new meetings were going to be? I might give it a try. I'm sure Rawson would approve; he likes anything dangerous and physically exhausting. The hints are now coming thick and fast about the whole 'drop us all off in the middle of nowhere' plan. I think he's serious. At any rate, I've started bringing food with me to training every day.

Bailey thinks RON is cute? Eek! Never tell me things like that, Hermione. He's my brother, and it's just _creepy_. Not that I think it's so terrible if he dates or anything, it's just that he's not exactly Patrick Moran, is he? (Before you ask, Hermione, Moran's Ireland's hottest player; you really _do_ need to follow Quidditch more closely.) No, Ron hasn't crashed any dates yet. If he does, you won't need to have a talk with him, don't worry. There won't be any piece of him left that's large enough to talk to. It'll be worth the Azkaban sentence; at least when Harry visits my cell we can have a bit of _privacy_.

Anyway, I think I'll go and practice pitching a tent. Apparently, "You never know when you'll be forced to survive without your wands, and right now you nincompoops would all be eaten by Grindylows before twenty minutes were up!"

Can't Wait to See You,

Ginny


	5. Enter SeanThomas

**_Hermione's Out-Going Owls:_**

Dear Ron,

The first time I hear from you in weeks, and naturally, it would be asking for help with your 'homework', so to speak. Really, you could have asked me yourself; am I all that frightening? Never mind, don't even answer that. However, since you are clearly at a loss, I am willing to help you. How you intend to plan your lessons depends entirely on the tact that you chose to take. Do you want to cover the same material, but grow in detail as the years progress? Do you want to focus on certain branches each year, the way Professor Lupin did? Since I'm assuming that you won't follow in your long line of predecessors who only managed one year, you need to keep in mind that you can't simply teach the same thing to everyone. Speak to Professor Dumbledore and find out what exactly was covered for each level in previous years. What textbooks did you choose for each year? I'll need to take a look at them. Bring any information you can find about past curriculum along with all the textbooks and homework you assigned over the summer on Friday, and we can sit down and have a proper discussion.

I suppose I don't really need to mention that I think it's appalling that you left all this with so little time to spare. If it weren't for the fact that it is entirely unfair on the students if they are greeted by an incompetent teacher, I would leave you to sort out your own mess. I want you to know that beyond the initial planning, you are completely on your own. Have you even _begun_ to work?

That aside, I have to ask; is Malfoy _actually_ teaching Potions? If so, the inclination towards another violent outburst like in our third and sixth years is remarkable. I'm sure Professor Dumbledore is aware of what he's doing, but really, Malfoy will be blatantly biased towards Slytherin, and I still don't trust him. Still, no doubt Professor Dumbledore knows best. Even so, I'll admit I'm a bit worried. Look, whatever you do, don't let him get to you! You know he'll try to provoke you, and he's not worth losing your position over.

Stay calm and stay organized.

LoveSincerelyYours From,

Hermione

P.S. Ron, you absolutely must give Mrs. Appleby the rent you owe her, with interest. She deserves it; it's illegal for you not to pay. She has every right to hold your furniture.

Dear Harry,

I wrote to Ron. I'll help him, but he really ought to be doing it himself. Tell me, what sort of blackmail did he have to use against you in order to force you to appeal on his behalf?

As far as I know, I have no new boyfriend. If you hear from him, would you mind asking him to let me know who he is, how long we've been involved, and how serious our relationship is? Honestly, Ginny must have been exaggerating again. I really think she needs to stop meddling in other people's love lives. She's been better since she got one of her own as a distraction, but even so, it can be rather trying.

How are things going with the Manner case? Word gets around between departments. It's incredible that anyone could be so unshakably evil by the age of eighteen. I'm sure Tom Riddle managed it with style, but really, it still shocks me. I'm so sorry that you always get that sort of case. I'm managing quite well at the moment, so if you need any help with research or other minor cases, I'm happy to help out. You have plenty on your plate right now without having to do the petty searching for past similar cases for reports and such.

Love,

Hermione

Dear Ginny,

I'm sorry, I clearly must have made some sort of terrible mistake, and accidentally told you that Justin was my potential life-partner rather than my boss. My apologies, I'll try to be clearer next time.

_ Really_ Ginny, I know you have my best interests at heart, but there is nothing going on between me and Justin. Even if there was, I wouldn't plunge in without thinking.

Is it just me, or does Allen Rawson live in the same sort of mind-set as the late Alastor Moody?

Work is turning out better than I possibly could have imagined. Studying was all well and good, but now I feel like I'm out of my shell and actually doing something to help the outside world. It's really quite invigorating. I've sorted out countless cases at this point, and my judgment is coming to be well-respected throughout the department. It's a huge honor.

I have to go for now or else I'll be late. Good luck braving the elements.

Love,

Hermione

Justin,

As sweet as it was for you to offer dinner after the hearing, I'm afraid I can't make it. I've got plans to meet up with some old friends from school. I'd love to do something another time though. By the way, I left files A-H on your desk in the large blue folder, and I'll have H-P to you by the end of the week. When would you like the Welsh Green report?

-Hermione

****

**_A Refrigerator Notice:_**

Hermione, darling! I see you didn't eat all of the lasagna. Keep working on it, I'm very proud! Now, I've decided that since we keep on missing each other because you've become so involved in work, we need to do something to bond, and I came up with the perfect idea! Look in the living room. You see the hutch sitting in the corner of the sitting room? The green one? Well, look inside! Isn't he just ADORABLE? And with the three of us, we'll be like one big family! I was thinking about naming him Sean or Thomas. Which do you prefer? I didn't get a white one because I find the red eyes absolutely terrifying, but I think the brown ones are just as cute. Wait 'til you get eyeful of those ears! Isn't he just the be all and end all? Anyway, that's all that comes to mind for the moment. I'm making cabbage soup tonight, so if you're not home by seven, it'll be in the fridge. Give some to our new furry friend in the shamrock dish in the cabinet!

Bailey

****

**_Ginny's Out-Going Owls:_**

Dear Harry,

Don't be ridiculous, of _course_ Hermione's love life is my business! She's my best friend, and so I have every right to pry as much as I feel necessary. Besides, do you want her and Ron to stop biting each others' heads off, or not? Just leave everything to me. With any luck at all, they'll go together to Fred and George's party. Never underestimate a Weasley playing matchmaker. After all, I got you, didn't I?

By the way, can you pick me up a half hour later than planned? Rawson's gone ballistic and is dolling out overtime. Try not to get yourself too stressed with work.

Your Ingenious Girlfriend,

Ginny

Dear Hermione,

All right, all right, I get the message; you needn't turn the Granger sarcasm upon your unsuspecting best friend. Don't make me sic Harry on you. I live in hope that I'll eventually get to see him start a fight over me.

If it weren't for the narrow age-gap, I'd swear that Rawson was Mad-Eye incarnate. Still, age gap or not, if he says, "Constant vigilance!" even once, I'm out of here.

I'm glad to hear you're enjoying work. Just promise me you won't turn into Percy, okay? Please do keep in mind that there is a world outside of the ministry, and an interesting one at that.

Thanks for the luck, I'll need it; I'm coming home exhausted every night.

Love,

Ginny

Cat,

Thanks for the tip about tomorrow being wilderness survival day. Who was your source, and how the hell did they manage to read Rawson's mind? I seriously hope they're not just going to provoke him into taking immediate action like the last time. Even so, whoever it is, I owe them either eternal gratitude or a big kiss, depending on gender. I say we stick together; it takes at least the two of us to set up a tent.

-Ginny

**_Poster Outside Rawson's Office:_**

ATTENTION ALL AUROR TRAINEES:

Your current trainer, Allen Rawson, is not who you believe him to be.

That's right; he is in fact an AZKABAN ESCAPEE!

We would appreciate your assistance in capturing and subduing this highly dangerous individual, guilty of the following crimes:

-Torture and murdering several former students

-Acting so paranoid it drove several former students into St. Mungo's mental ward

-Looking like a troll's rear end

Please consider this man to be armed with lethal weaponry; simply the stench he produces could stop a charging hippogriff. This has been a public service announcement courtesy of some bored and vindictive pupils.

****

**_Harry's Out-Going Owls:_**

Dear Ginny,

You know, sometimes you scare me. It's lucky you're so cute.

Seriously though, you think you can have them together by Halloween? I'm sorry, but not even you have that kind of power. If you weren't my gorgeous girlfriend, I'd suggest a little wager in the department.

Are you quite sure you didn't mean _infamous_ rather than _ingenious_?

See you tonight,

-Harry

Ron,

I hope you realize that in quitting the force, you condemned "The Boy Who Lived" to go down in history as "The Boy Who Lived, But It Didn't Make Much of A Difference Because He Later Had A Nervous Break-Down Because His No-Good Partner Abandoned Him To Go Play With Small Children." You just _had_ to pick now, of all times, to quit. And so naturally, I'm stuck with one of the worst cases since the former Death Eaters actually organized themselves enough to scare the shit out of half of Britain. This whole situation is a total nightmare. He hasn't killed yet, just gathered a few followers, tortured people, sent some threatening letters, and raised the mark. Even so, if it's only a matter of time before the Prophet finds out, and then we're in real trouble. We're working on tracking down Manner as I write this, but God, he's not an easy boy to find. The whole situation is just completely bizarre. We've pulled just about every man off his regular. Vampire attacks have been increasing, too; we're really starting to worry there could be a connection. If this all gets out, there'll be total panic and anarchy.

So, I've heard that the big tough guy finally managed to hear from Hermione! Are you swelling with pride since you actually managed to communicate with her, albeit not directly? Seriously, Weasley, you're disgusting. By the way, are you going to the twins' Halloween party? Just out of curiosity, mind.

Good luck dealing with the Ickle students. I have a real job, unfortunately, so I have to go get back to work before I get my head bitten off. After all, I must maintain constant vigilance!

-Harry

Dear 'Mione,

If you recognized that that required blackmail, you know us too well. He just helped me out of an awkward situation; it wasn't a big deal.

Just for the sake of verification, could you please either confirm or deny the following?

1. Your boss is in fact Justin Talmere, brother of Robert Talmere, newly appointed Chaser for the Chudley Cannons, worst team in the history of Quidditch.

2. Justin Talmere (See boss mentioned above) is passionately in love with you.

3. You didn't know who Patrick Moran was without an explanation with Ginny.

The first two points are relatively unimportant; I just thought I'd seek a solution to the rumors directly from those involved. However, if the third statement is in fact true (God forbid), we need to have a very long talk. I recognize you now have a job to attend, but really, this is serious stuff.

Wait a minute, how did you find out about the Manner case? That's supposed to be classified! Not that I don't trust you to keep your mouth shut, but it's really important that the public doesn't realize what's going on before we have the whole situation wrapped up and shipped firmly off to Azkaban. Besides, if you know, other people must as well. The whole thing could escalate to a crisis situation and blow up in our faces at any moment, so we're treating the situation as though it's made of glass. I agree, though, there's something really blood-curdling about someone so young being so sadistic. There's nothing I can do at the moment, but believe me, if I think of something I'll let you know.

-Harry

****

**_Ron's Out-Going Owls:_**

Hermione,

Yes Mum, and I'll be sure to bring clean socks and de-gnome the garden as soon as I finish my homework. I don't know what the old bat's talking about; I don't owe any rent, and I want my stuff! Please tell me you didn't actually just write out, "Stay calm and stay organized." I think I'm going to scream. Sometimes I wonder about you, 'Mione. Were you this bad at school, or has the ministry brainwashed you into becoming a creepy combination of McGonagall and Percy?

All right, I'm _sorry_. I didn't mean any of that, I'm just venting my terror at the approaching school year by firing rude remarks at you. Yes, I'm a stupid prat who should have done my work ages ago, and deserved everything I said. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Will you still help me? This whole place looks like Harry's Nimbus after it hit the Whomping Willow in third year.

Obviously I didn't give them homework over the holidays; that would be cruel and unusual. I've put the textbook list in the envelope with this letter, though. You're an absolutely brilliant, Hermione; I owe you one. I reckon I'll probably just pick a different topic for each of the years. I'll talk to Dumbledore at dinner tonight.

And yes, Malfoy, the bloody King of Gits himself is going to be teaching Potions. There's only one possible explanation I can come up with as to why Dumbledore hired him; he's barmy. Dumbledore, I mean. Don't get me wrong, he's an incredible wizard and all, and the best headmaster Hogwarts ever had, but he's completely off his rocker. Malfoy won't just be biased; he'll probably actively persecute Gryffindors! No one will be safe! It'll be a thousand times worse that Severus Snape's reign of terror! I'm not going to let him get to me, though. He'd just better not even consider making any cracks about my family, or anything.

Thanks again for your help, and I'll see you on Friday.

-Ron

Harry,

Look, mate, I'm sorry. Dumbledore offered me the job, and I took it, for obvious reasons. If you'd like, I'll kill off Malfoy or Flitwick or someone so there'll be an opening and you can join me. If you need any help with raids that aren't on a school night, you can count me in. But right now, there's nothing I can do, and we both know it. Don't worry, the ministry will handle the Prophet; you know they've got infiltration throughout the media industry. They'll keep it quiet for as long as you need to do a quick sweep. Within a month, the papers will be reporting yet another triumphant victory for the famous Harry Potter. Get some sleep, and then get to work. You'll manage. As for the vampires, with any luck it's just breeding season. You can get rid of the prodigy kid, then stake the blood-suckers.

I'm going to completely ignore the jibe about Hermione. You owed me, so you can't whine.

As for Hogwarts, how is it that Malfoy seems to pop out of nowhere whenever he's not wanted? Maybe it makes it a little easier that he's _never_ wanted, but even so, it's creepy.

He swept in to my office today. Seriously, he just waltzed right in like he owned it as well as the rest of the school. He took one glance around it (and I'll admit it's not exactly tidy), and said in that obnoxious drawl that still makes me want to punch his face in, "Wow Weasley, among all this filth, I bet you feel right at home."

Of course, the only thing I could do, as I sat there clenching my desk so hard that my knuckles were white, was to reply, "Look, Malfoy, if you don't like it, why are you even here?" He just raised an eyebrow and widened that damned cocky grin, then sort of oozed out. It was all I could do not to curse him into oblivion. I swear, if my job wasn't on the line, I'd practically have killed him by now. Just seeing him with that smirk tells me what he's thinking, and I don't know how much more I can take.

Anyway, it's time for another dinner in which I deliberately sit as far from Malfoy as possible. Maybe I'll get to find out about Hagrid's new pet. I suppose we have to be more careful, now that Hermione has to look for unregistered beasts. Joy.

-Ron


End file.
